Her Side of the Mountain

Willow: Carpe Diem.  You told me that once.

Buffy: Fish of the Day?

Willow: Not carp!   Carpe!  It means “Seize the Day.”

— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Surprise”

During the summer of 2004, I received a letter that changed my life. Having recently graduated from law school, I was studying for the bar when the engagement letter from the firm I would be joining arrived. “We are excited to welcome you on Friday, October 15th, 2004,” it said. October 15th! I was scheduled to take the bar exam at the end of July. I would have over two months free before I had to start working.

Immediately, I started to think about traveling.

The idea that floated through my mind first was to take The Road Trip. You know, the one that a bunch of my guy friends had taken at one time or another, sometimes solo and sometimes in groups, driving cross country to “find themselves.” Since I love hiking and camping and the outdoors in general, and had lived my whole life in Rhode Island and Massachusetts, seeing the rest of the country was very tempting. But I dismissed the idea.

First of all, I had no one to go with. My friends all had jobs and other obligations and didn’t have such a lengthy span of free time. I had never traveled alone, and the idea frankly scared me, less because of safety and more because I was worried I would be lonely or bored without anyone to share the experience with.

Second of all, I was a woman. Sure, my guy friends had packed up their cars and driven around the country, camping and hiking and meeting people, but surely I couldn’t do that. I liked to think of myself as independent, but that independence included not being dependent on the approval of others for self-worth, and being able to make decisions about my life without needing someone to confirm the wisdom of those decisions. It fell short of knowing how to build a fire, or lift heavy objects, or get myself out of sticky situations. That’s when I called friends and family — or a boyfriend — for help. Right?

Ironically enough, it was my then-boyfriend who convinced me that those two reasons were bad reasons for not taking The Road Trip. He had done it a few years before and said it was one of the most important experiences of his life. “Look, you’re smart, you can handle yourself,” he said. “You have friends all over the country. I promise you won’t be bored, not with everything there is to see and do. When are you ever going to have this chance again?”

I decided he was right. I decided that being a woman, and having to travel alone, was no reason not to do it. I took a deep breath, plotted my route, packed up my car, and drove west. Over the course of six weeks, I drove through twenty-six states, visited fourteen National Parks, and saw and did so much that I’m still in awe of that time in my life.

Of course, it wasn’t really that simple. There were a lot of preparations and precautions to be taken before and during the trip. There were bad moments along with the good. There were mistakes I made, and also some very good decisions.

And that’s what this blog is about. Because camping and hiking as a solo female can be safe, and it can be one of the most incredible experiences a woman can ever have. I still do it, and it still affects me the same way as it did during those six weeks. If it’s something you want to do, then Seize the Day…or Fish the Day, if you must…but don’t hold back out of fear or uncertainty.

(c) Her Side of the Mountain, 2009.